This is probably one of those I-might-regret-posting-this-someday blog entries, but I've gotten a really nice compliment about how open and truthful (and funny---it was the funny bit that made me do this, ok?) I have been with this blog so I figured I'll post this for everyone's
entertainment inspiration. :))))
Besides, the DELETE button is an amazing, amazing thing. Best invention since heaters.
Sooooo, standards for a husband. I'm saying husband because contrary to the perception of Eunice's friends (whom I love because they think I'm only 20) and a neighbor (who thinks I'm in fifth grade), I'm already 28. And 28 yearolds set standards for husbands, not boyfriends. Boyfriends are for slutty fifth graders.
People think I have unbelievably high standards for a partner. If I got a dollar for every "
Siguro kasi you have really high standards that's why you're still single." that I got, I'd own a Bugatti Veyron by now. I like replying to this with "Standards? I don't even have standards." Hehehehe. Of course, that's not true. All girls have standards. If you don't have standards for a partner, then you're probably desperate. Or a plant. Or a desperate plant (nearing extinction).
So to inspire other girls out there (translation: just for fun), I'm gonna share with you my Idealistic Standards and my "real" standards. See how I bargain with true love here? I have plan A and plan B (If you can't have Johnny Depp, go for the more achievable John: John Lloyd Cruz).
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| "The girl is mine." |
IDEAL: (
I tried my best to limit this to 15. I had 150. JK)
1.
He must be smart / great conversationalist. I really want to be with someone I can connect with on so many levels: from discussing a random murder case to debating about dinosaur extinction to arguing about whether blue M&M's are better than brown ones.
2.
He must know how to dance. Slow dancing is fine. But knowing how to dougie is jackpot. JK. He should be able to keep up with me when I dance the "running man" and "butterfly" and other random moves by the
Universal Motion Dancers.
3.
He must be familiar with these: The X-Files, Robotech, Super Book, The Flying House, and The Little Flying Bears. I grew up with these TV shows and sometimes I burst into random (but long) discussions about my favorite shows. I don't want to have to give him the I-thought-you-loved-me-how-come-you-don't-know-these-cartoons look every so often.
4.
He must know how to drive. I sometimes like racing during fights. It's gonna be boring if we were fighting and I had to race him while he was walking and I'm driving. Just kidding. No races, I just want to feed him Twister fries while he's driving and he can tell me I'm such an awesome navigator. (This is so cheesy I bet you think the race reason was better).
5.
He must let me win in Poker, Gran Turismo, or whatever other video game I choose to play. I'm very competitive. If he turns out to be better than me in these games, he better let me win without me noticing that he did it on purpose. If he's not better than me, I'm not dating him. Hahahaha.
6.
He must be into arts and books and music. But not gay.
7.
He must love watching movies and TV shows. Are there guys who don't like movies and TV? Hmmmm, we must share the same taste though. Coz I would hate to be wanting to watch Modern Family and he'd be fighting with me for the remote coz he wants to see Dog The Bounty Hunter.
8.
He must not like Justin Bieber. Self-explanatory.
9.
He must not dress up like a hip hop / punk rock / heavy metal band member. Nothing is sexier than a guy in jeans and plain shirts. Well maybe a guy in corporate wear---that's sexier.
10.
He must be good in math. Because I
suck am not very good at it and I don't want my future kids coming home one day having failed a math exam and screaming at me "I hate you Mom for your lack of math skillz!"
11.
He must not have Facebook. We all know Facebook ruins relationships. Hahahaha. He can use my Facebook account if he wants to stalk / message other girls. Besides, I told myself I'd do things differently this time. The last time I had a bf, my Friendster (see how long ago it was?) account was practically a monument for my ex. All my profile pictures were of me and him and his profile picture was of himself and a dog in a random beach! I was never in any of his photos. Girlfriend < Dog. (Sub ideal standard: He must not have a picture of him and a dog in some random beach.)
12.
He must be tall. You guys, I don't want my kids to be hobbits, ok?
13.
He must be good in sports. Hmmmm, I particularly enjoy basketball. It would be awesome if he played---on the hard court, not in PS3.
14.
He must not have a secret past or a string of psycho ex girlfriends. Like, seriously, this should be on every girl's list.
15.
He must know how to swim. Because I don't know how to. And you never know where married life could lead you---it can bring us to the pacific ocean one day and my life will have to depend on him! Don't worry, future hubby, if there was a huge door that I can hang on to, I'm not gonna go Rose Dawson on you. I'll move and there'd be space enough for two and we'd both be saved. And you can paint me wearing this, wearing only this...
ANYHOO. These standards are couched in all-or-nothing terms. Meaning, the guy has to have ALL these qualities. One cannot be missing. If he can't dance but has all other fourteen characteristics, I'd still say no. If he has all these characteristics but he owns a Facebook account, then he must let me deactivate the account before I let him whisk me off to happily ever after. Too idealistic, right? I know, I know. That's why I have my "realistic" list.
REAL:
1. He must be Catholic.
2. He must be honest with me.
3. He must be faithful to me.
NOW, tell me. In this day and age... which set of standards is easier to meet? My idealistic list? Or my "realistic" standards? Because it looks to me that guys all over the world have a problem with #3. Remember, even Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston.
So what's the moral of the story?
The moral of the story is that standards are pretty useless. Hahaha. But I know what I REALLY want, and I'm not gonna settle for anything less. And another important lesson is that if you don't know what The Little Flying Bears are, then you don't. stand. a. chance. :)))))